You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
