I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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