Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
