I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
