at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Enjoy the penises
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
