Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
