How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
