i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
