Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize