Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
