Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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