My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
