I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I could fuck to npr.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
