i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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