But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Actions speak louder than pants.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
