He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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