OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
