dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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