Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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