Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
