it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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