Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
