I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
