remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
