The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
