just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
