you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
