Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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