First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
