ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
