after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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