Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
