Did you just see the Batmobile???
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
