this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize