I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
