I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
