Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
