I got chris browned last night
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
wow bdsm is so cute
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
