I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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