im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
