Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize