This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
