..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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