Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
