no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
