When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
