Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
