I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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