So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
