is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
