feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
