i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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