i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
