If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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