you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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