I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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