Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
