im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
