Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
