her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
