Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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