I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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