Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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