i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
