How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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