Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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