At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
