She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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